have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
