tonight lets celebrate not being married
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
