omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
