Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
