Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize