Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
