I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
