Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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