I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
