i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We have started to decorate penises.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
