He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
