I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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