so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize