Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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