I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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