Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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