Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
