i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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