member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
