but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
