My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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