tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
