I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
