so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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