You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
