Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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