Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
