my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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