if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
