but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
