there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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