In the future we'll all be gay
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
