I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
