i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Farmville is her only friend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
