pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Pooping to opera.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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