please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
