thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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