he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
