at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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