summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
