We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
