just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I need water and some morals
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
