oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Pants are for mortals
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
