oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
