made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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