i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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