WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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