is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This is classic penis vs brain.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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