im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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