Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize