Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
