the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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