i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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