CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
