Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
