New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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