Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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