break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
