Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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