Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
