not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
