That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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