Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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