His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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