Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
