brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize