There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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