it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize