Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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